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ELEPHANT JOKES
Caution: These jokes are generally very
clean and suitable for most members of the family, but there are a few "insult"
jokes and cuss words here so please preview before sharing with younger children.
Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a pink elephant?
You hold his trunk closed until he turns blue - then you shoot
him with a blue elephant gun.
Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between
2 and 4 each afternoon?
Because that's when the elephants jump out of the trees.
Why are pygmies so small?
Because they go into the jungle between 2 and 4 every afternoon.
What's that brown stuff between an elephant's
toes?
Slow pygmies.
How did the elephant hide on the pool table?
He was wearing a green hat.
How can you tell if an elephant is hiding in your
bathtub?
You can smell the peanuts on his breath.
What would you get if Batman and Robin were run
over by a herd of stampeding elephants?
Flatman and Ribbon.
Why did they throw the elephants out of the public
swimming pool?
Beause they couldn't hold up their trunks.
How do you make an elephant float?
A glass of root beer and one scoop of elephant.
What's the difference between an elephant and
peanut butter?
An elephant doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Two mice captured an elephant. The first mouse
said to the second, "You guard the elephant while I go get help."
When he got back with some friends half-an-hour later, the elephant was
gone.
"What did you do with him?" asked the first mouse of the
second.
"I don't know where he is!" the second mouse responded.
The first mouse got really angry. "Don't lie to me! I can see that
you're still chewing!"
Why did the elephant cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Why did the elephant paint himself all-different
colors?
So he could hide in the crayon box.
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits for the fall.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't get down from an elephant - you get down from a duck.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a
gopher?
Huge holes in your back yard.
Why does an elephant wear red sneakers?
So he can hide in a cherry tree.
Ever see an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
Works, doesn't it?
Why do elephants wear green tennis shoes?
To hide in the tall, tall grass.
Why do elephants wear white tennis shoes?
Because their red and green ones are in the wash.
How do you fit four elephants in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front and two in the back.
How do you fit six elephants into a Volkswagen?
Silly, everyone knows you can't fit six elephants in a Volkswagen!
How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
You can see his footprints in the butter.
Why is an elephant gray, large and wrinkled?
Because, if it were small, round and white, it would be an aspirin.
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?
Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an elephant?
I don't know what you'd call it, but Colonel Sanders would have some fun trying
to dip it into the batter, wouldn't he?
How do you fit six elephants in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front, two in the rear and two in the glove compartment!!
How do you catch an elephant?
Hide in the grass and make a noise like a peanut.
How do you make an elephant stew?
Keep him waiting for a few hours!
What was the elephant doing crossing the road?
About 4 miles per hour!!
Why do elephants wear bright green nail polish?
So they can hide in the pea patch. |
